what would i give to look right ?
how far am i willing to go to seem nice ?
how much sleep would i lose over what you think of me ?
how much time would i spend in front of the mirror ?
not much..
not much..
not much..

ill spend a day or two sulking ..
i care a lil bt what u say ..
i will hate u a lil ..
ill try a lil to please you..
but not much..
but not much..

i love my silly clothes..
i love my silly hair..
i like how i stare at cars jus pass by..
i like obscure books in a thrift book store...
i like gettin excited bt pretty cupcakes...
i love the rotten songs on my playlist..
i like askin for extra peanuts on a flight..
i love makin a fool of myself..
i love pickin 3 dresses at a store and then not buying any...
i love my pictures frm skool wen i looked weird..
i like spending the whole day doin algebra...
i loved all those evenings i stayed in doing homework..
i like tokin to random 5 yr old's bt monsters..

at the end of the day.. i jus love myself too much to care bt wat u say..

22 yards to freedom

Look up to the shooting star,
Can you see the velvet sky,
22 yards to freedom,
But seems so mighty high.

My engine’s gone,
All fuel burnt up,
Seems like am gonna die,
Life’s hanging up there,
22yards too high,

22yards is all I need,
“escape velocity” they say.
To escape earth’s mighty pull,
Escape night and day.

Kept going round in circles,
Now death looms straight ahead.
Laughing, mocking, sneering…..
“dear me you are gonna be dead”.

Burn like amber hot and vile,
Get strewn across the sky.
End up as cold and dust,
As a twinkle in someone’s eye.

Or gear up my dear boy!
You need another twenty two,
22 yards to freedom,
To beauty unseen but true.

Visions of past life now surrounded me,
Hitherto engulfed in dread.
Dancing out of the inner eye,
In a lone tear that I shed.

At this high altitude,
What is the scale of my woe.
Kept going high, up and high,
Still 22 yards too low.

A poem

how far have we come?
there is no more to go
seen the sun, felt the wind
we have seen it snow

It is indeed the end of the world
standing at the seaside.
There is no more to see,
except the sun in sight.

I wish we could go further, my friend,
But this is how far land will take us.
We will be water, you and me..
different waters in the sea.

let us go no further,
in space or in time.
let us be shells on the beach,
let us be sublime.

For we will be lost,
in the depths of the blue.
You'll not see me,
and I'll see not.. you.

Let's walk back to our bridge,
where the creepers intertwine.
I shall wait forever,
just give me a sign.

I choose to write about death...
What happens after a person dies... They just go missing from your lives.. u don't see them anymore...u cant talk to them...it's that simple
Erase that one day from my memory when I came to know she was gone... I would think that Qiong still lived in this house... apartment No 110.. all her things r here... her bed, her big soup bowl, her death note stuffed toy.. her pictures ...
I could just assume that she's on a holiday and her cell ph is outta coverage.. she doesnt reply to my mails cus thr is no internet thr...
I can very well go on believing that Qiong is still there somewhr... jus like those few days when she went missing...
everything is okay... until I don't think too much..
Qiong has gone alone to somewhere.... just like she went alone for the coldplay concert.. she chose to be like that... be alone.. talk less.. I never knew these were signs .. I would hav done something..
When it gets too much for you.. u have to get away..to ur peaceful place.. to ur crazy place..anything !
wen all those places are also too much or too little for u.. well then.. like qiong .. u go in search of something totally unknown...
People die when their bodies r tired and failing... I now know that they can also die when their souls are tired..
I am no more mad at u Qiong for making ur mom cry.. for making everyone else cry.. I didn't understand then..
I am no more mad at you for taking ur life.. maybe u were dead long before..
I remember how you told me nothing scares u.. no movie is scary enough, u said..sounding like the world was not enough for you..
I know that you didn't die cus u were terribly sad or terribly scared... maybe u were a lil sad.. a lil bored...
there really is no big reason for what you did.. and maybe for you it wasnt such a big step...
I'll miss u qiong.. riding with you in your red mini cooper.. eating dinner with you in complete silence... watching jeopardy every evening.. watching sweeney todd ..
I am willing to let you go and hope uve found ur happy place at last..
RIP my friend..